So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Randomize
