Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
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Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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