There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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