I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Actions speak louder than pants.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Randomize
