this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Randomize
