Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
literally had 100 drinks last night.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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