Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
