can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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