It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Randomize
