the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
She bit a glass in half.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
