...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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