she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
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