Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
