I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Randomize
