'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
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