Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize