come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
Randomize
