I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
