I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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