even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
