At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
