god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
she told me i tasted like america
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
