Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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