HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
I wish life had little blips of pornography
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
We had sex on a dog bed..
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
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