so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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