Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
