You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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