Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
