CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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