yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
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