when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
