I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Randomize
