can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
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