so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
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