He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Randomize
