so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Randomize