I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Four minutes until I can fart!
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
