john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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