that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
