I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Randomize