if i died would you start the facebook group?
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
