I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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