I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
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