My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Randomize
