Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
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