i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Randomize