the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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