Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Randomize
