Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
