That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
