So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
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