Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
