i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
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