All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
