marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
