She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
