holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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