I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
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