alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Randomize
