I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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