dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize