i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
