oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
I wish I only lived at night.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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