I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Randomize
