yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Randomize
