She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
