Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Randomize
