But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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