I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Randomize
