I'd wear matching sweaters with you
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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